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Been there BARBIE…Been there!

18 Apr

barbie

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Single…Fabulous…And Full Of Shit

30 Jan

I’m def gonna get ass raped on this one, but like always..I just can’t hold this shit in!!

I am currently NOT single. However, I have been single ALOT in my life, so don’t think this is coming from one of those “relationship” girls who always had a boyfriend and has no fucking clue what its like to be alone.

That being said…ALL THE SINGLE LADIES…cut the BULLSHIT!!

Pull up ur big girl pants, buy a box of chocolates and stop with the I HATE VALENTINES DAY nonsense.

It’s a fucking hallmark holiday..and its corny.

But ya know what…one sure sign of a single bitter woman is when she publicly announces numerous times before Feb 14th how much she hates Valentine’s Day.

How much it sucks and how much she loves being single and blah blah blah..

Ladies, if you love being single so much then why does a corny ass holiday full of hearts and flowers make you so angry???

Ur gonna let Cupid get the best of you? OH HELL NO!!!

Stop being the Anti Cupid…embrace it, make the best of it. Send your best friend candy, go out, get drunk and get laid!!!

I hate Valentines Day, it’s so dumb, OMG…corny, it sucks, die cupid die!! SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!

Just cause you don’t have a man in your life doesn’t mean u gotta stomp all over that cute little naked kid with the arrow!!!

Do you realize that no one believes ur a strong independent black woman when they hear you say shit like that?

You make urself look like a sorry individual.

Buck up buttercup…ur time will come, until then…even if you are bitter, don’t show it, it’s not a good look!!

Please send all hate mail regarding this post to b.davis@thisiswhyihateu.com

To my single friends, clearly this is not about you…as always txt me for who its aimed at!!! ūüėČ

Always in our HEARTS…Forever on our MINDS

11 Sep

‚ÄúFreedom itself was attacked this morning by a faceless coward and freedom will be defended. We will not tire, we will not falter, and we will not fail‚ÄĚ – George W. Bush

Beauty and the BEAST

8 May

 

This is one of¬†the worlds¬†wonders…

Right up there with the Stonehenge, The Pyramids, and Donald Trumps hair…

I often ponder how this happens…

GOOD LOOKING GUYS AND THE UGLY GIRLS THEY LOVE!!!!

Now this may be slightly hypocritical, but when you see a very pretty girl and a not so hot guy, for some reason I get it. Like he is probably super nice to her, maybe he has some money, maybe he is a rock star, maybe he has a babies arm, maybe he doesn’t treat her like a trophy….its understandable

But when I see a¬†dashing handsome man on the arm of a SEA HAG, I’m simply baffled.

Can someone please explain to me what crazy forces are at work in the universe when this happens???

Guys are programmed differently than girls – being nice, and sweet only gets u so far with them…so¬†how the fuck does this happen?

No gag reflex?

Vagina of gold?

Please someone comment and give me their thoughts on how Zeus ends up with Medusa?!?!

Email me at b.davis@thisiswhyihateu.com or just comment on this post.

 

The Tale of The Closet Whore

2 Apr

You all know one….she hides behind a facade of puppy dogs and ice cream. She walks around like her shit dont stink. She acts as if she is the “guys girl”. Makes friends with your boyfriend. Loves sports, so NOT INTO typical girl stuff…She is “The cool girl”. BUT…In reality, she is waiting for you to turn ur back for 5 min so she can blow your boyfriend… SHE IS THE CLOSET WHORE

BEWARE LADIES…SHE WALKS AMONGST U

The best part about this evil little minx, is that no one ever suspects her until you walk in and find your boyfriend hitting her from behind, and by that point its to late!!

Normally this girl is a little over weight or tom boyish…its part of her disguise. You would never think that she¬†has the vaginal power to lure your unsuspecting boyfriend into some sort of inner thigh sin scenario.

She makes like she is your best friend, but also acts as if she is ur boyfriends best friend sometimes. DOUBLE AGENT…all part of her plan.

You never have confirmation of her secret skank activity. Its mentioned and gossiped about, but no concrete proof. This is because¬†the guys she sleeps with are either embarrassed¬†to say they did it, or can’t because they have a girlfriend…this is how she is able to maintain her NON THREAT persona, when in fact she is lurking thru the night, with lace panties, flying with the help of her CLOSET WHORE CAPE!!!

She also likes to talk shit about other girls. She is the first one to call someone a skank, a pig, a slut…this is because she knows her closet whoreness can never come out fully…to many would be implicated.

LADIES…we must expose this evil beast for what she is. A boyfriend blowing, rim job giving, “if I¬†was ur¬†girl I¬†would never do that” saying, CLOSET WHORE!!!

Careful….look for the signs, you don’t¬†want to walk into ur¬†bridal suite one day and find her under ur¬†husband on ur wedding day….TRUE STORY!!

The Madddd Rapper

22 Nov

To the guy and or girl who walk around the streets rapping out loud to their ipod or in some cases with no ipod…THIS IS WHY I HATE U

YOU LOOK LIKE A FUCKING NUT JOB!!!!

If I wanna hear Kanye, I will download Kanye. I don’t need to hear your whack ass version of what he is saying on my commute/walking in the streets.

Do you think ur going to get discovered?

Do you think the rest of the world wants to listen to your old school tribute to Biggie?

NO ONE IS INTERESTED.

I watch people like you and wonder where you work.

Most of the time¬†ur the same guy that asks me “yo can I buy a cigarette from you”. Not only do you feel the need to rap really really loud thru the streets of Manhattan, you also insist on doing the P.Diddy shuffle and fuck up my sidewalk speed walk!!

Last thing I wanna deal with while I’m racing to the train is some stranger yelling “Beat that pussy up” out of nowhere, scaring the fucking shit out of me…and the best part is I turn around and I see Malibu’s Most Wanted in his own little world auditioning for X Factor!!

Just stop it. Are you trying to prove to the world that you know¬†the words? Oh look you can keep up with Busta…where should I mail you medal????

YOUR ANNOYING AND U LOOK LIKE A DICK…ENOUGH SAID!

I Love The US Military!!

11 Nov

I would just like to wish all the men and women who have fought and continue to fight bravely for our country, a very Happy Veteran’s Day!!

Thanks to you, I sleep well at night…

Thanks to you I do not¬†fear invasion…

Thanks to you I have great pride in knowing we are protected…

For those people who protest war and chant bring our troops home, remember…this is what they signed up to do. These brave men and women want to fight for us and keep us protected.

Cut your hippy bullshit.

Are you going to stand on the front line in your Birkenstocks you granola eater?? NO…I thought so!!!

HAPPY VETERAN’S DAY!!